too much.

I know i've done some stupid stuff in the past. Surely you know all know that most of that stuff is something i regret. If you were really my 'best friend' you'd pick up on my face dropping every time you mention it. Once, yeah i deserve it. Twice, still funny but i could do without. Three times, you're pushing it too far.

I want so much to change, but it feels like everyone, especially those closest to me are forbidding it to happen. Just because there's no one else who provides entertainment for everyone to whisper about behind my back, or be the butt of everyone's jokes, it doesn't mean that it has to be me anymore. I'm tired of defending myself.

It's probably a good job i have a different group of friends who never judge, who accept everyone as they are. I never thought i'd see the day when i thought those friends were potentially better than the ones i thought would never hurt me.