i'll be just fine. so here's to moving forward.

And it's not your fault but mine, and it was my heart on the line?


Someone told me something today that made me feel like someone had stabbed me. That tingling feeling that seems to rise from your feet to your head, and your stomach tightens and you look up to hold the tears back. So i resorted to telling Isobel to fuck off for the next half an hour.
People's natural defence mechanisms interest me. I used to bottle things up, and no one would have a clue what i was thinking, now i think people know too much? I've become like a book, you can read me far too easily, everyone knows exactly what i'm thinking, everyone can tell how much i'm hurting. I used to think it was good, healthy even, to wear your heart on your sleeve.
Now my heart's been scratched, scraped, bruised and poked. Though so far, i don't think it's been broken, not yet anyway. All of this happened, because i didn't keep it in a safe place, i didn't keep it to myself, so i only have myself to blame for being so careless. I want to go back to keeping things quiet, not letting things out, putting on a fantastic show of making sure no one knows what is really going on inside.

The things that hurt you most aren't the things you can see, it's the things you don't even know are there.